Sunday, October 24, 2010
Things That Last Forever
So, the other day a friend of mine had a post on facebook. She said, "Nothing lasts forever, no matter how it feels today." Well, this sparked some thought from me. I was pretty sure she was talking about lost relationships. So I have come to the following conclusion. There are some things that last forever, but they are very difficult to find. Looking for them won't help one find them; they simply come to a person when the person is truly ready. Once found, though, these things are easy to get, that is if the person is truly ready. This applies to a lot of things. It mainly applies to relationships, but in more than one way. It can apply to friendships, dating relationships, or one's relationship with their higher authority, which in most of our cases would be God.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Future!
I'm still looking forward to the future. I honestly can't wait until the day when I can leave the house with a high school diploma and embark on the next part of my life. This part that I'm in now has been excruciatingly long and it's getting old. But this part of my life is crutial to the next part. In this part, I still have to prepare for the next in any way and as much as possible.
One way I'm preparing is by working out. Although I really want to play football my senior year, it's a very short term low priority goal that I can accomplish by using the preparation for another goal. The main reason I'm working out and exercising now is so I'll be strong and fit enough to do well in the military. I'm a strong believer that if you want to do something you should be good at it and do everything you can to get better; if you want to produce an output, put in the maximum input. To be continued
One way I'm preparing is by working out. Although I really want to play football my senior year, it's a very short term low priority goal that I can accomplish by using the preparation for another goal. The main reason I'm working out and exercising now is so I'll be strong and fit enough to do well in the military. I'm a strong believer that if you want to do something you should be good at it and do everything you can to get better; if you want to produce an output, put in the maximum input. To be continued
Timerous Adventurus the Great
After about an hour, everyone was in position at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The sun was not yet up, but there was a faint glow on the horizon, a sign to Timerous that the time was at hand.
Timerous was in command of of mammoth force, far larger than he had ever invisioned leading. He was in control of 500,000 spider legionaires, all decked with armour and machine guns strapped to their tops. 50 artillery guns were also in position about 100 meters behind them, already loaded with shells with extra ammo stacked beside the guns. The Delta Force team was already in position in the basement of the castle, silently waiting for the first rounds of artillery to hit the castle for them to make their move on Lord Fiddlesticks. Timerous himself was covered with body armour, and in place of the Sword of Jesus he had two miniguns hanging at his sides. Belts of ammunition covered him from shoulder to shoulder, and small pockets held ninja stars. On his belt he carried his canteen and a nickel plated 9mm pistol.
It was a beautiful morning. Drops of dew glistened on the ground in the faint morning light. Thick patches of fog dotted the edges of the forest and fields like cotten balls that had been thrown down from above. Although it was relatively cool, sweat glistened on Timerous' face, collecting in drops to slide down his face and leaving a flat track for a few moments before more sweat developed. His cotton clothes were damp from the dew and somewhat heavy and chilling. He knew he would need the coolness for the day to come, though, so he left them hanging from him. He wasn't too nervous, but every now and then a shiver would go down his spine, as happens to any soldier before every battle. Nobody had ever attempted to try to take Hogwarts, and he knew that it would be a long and difficult battle. In spite of this, he kept his composure with a solid face of stone, a composure of rock so strong that not even an earthquake could split.
Looking over to his right and left, Timerous could see that the spiders were nervous. The hairs white transluecent hairs on their legs stood like needles on a porcupine, and they shuffled to and fro restlessly. "Be calm," Timerous told them, "For the righteous always prevail." Timerous always had good sayings ready for times like these to calm his troops, and this time the effect was no different. The spiders took deep breaths and regained their composure.
After a few minutes of silence, the sun began to peak over the horizon. The time had come. Timerous spoke.
"Now, spidermen, we walk into the shadow of the valley of death. Fear no evil, for we are about to experience it in the next twenty-four hours. Remember what you are fighting for; you are fighting for your children, you are fighting for your mother, father, sisters, and brothers, and above all you are fighting for freedom. Do not relent, do not waiver, for the moment you do, you will be dead. Never retreat. Fight to the last man. Spidermen, this is the End Game. As of now, you are free spiders, and to keep this freedom you must earn it in blood. Under my leadership, we will shed plenty of it and we will not fail. Under God, we are righteous, and we will not fail!"
The spiders clicked their mandibles together in applause. They were ready; he was ready. Timerous climbed onto his spider and approached the front of the line, facing towards the castle. "Artillery! Open fire!" he yelled. Upon this command, the treeline behind him boomed with thunder and flashed like lightening as the first rounds were fired towards Hogwarts. The battle had begun.
Timerous was in command of of mammoth force, far larger than he had ever invisioned leading. He was in control of 500,000 spider legionaires, all decked with armour and machine guns strapped to their tops. 50 artillery guns were also in position about 100 meters behind them, already loaded with shells with extra ammo stacked beside the guns. The Delta Force team was already in position in the basement of the castle, silently waiting for the first rounds of artillery to hit the castle for them to make their move on Lord Fiddlesticks. Timerous himself was covered with body armour, and in place of the Sword of Jesus he had two miniguns hanging at his sides. Belts of ammunition covered him from shoulder to shoulder, and small pockets held ninja stars. On his belt he carried his canteen and a nickel plated 9mm pistol.
It was a beautiful morning. Drops of dew glistened on the ground in the faint morning light. Thick patches of fog dotted the edges of the forest and fields like cotten balls that had been thrown down from above. Although it was relatively cool, sweat glistened on Timerous' face, collecting in drops to slide down his face and leaving a flat track for a few moments before more sweat developed. His cotton clothes were damp from the dew and somewhat heavy and chilling. He knew he would need the coolness for the day to come, though, so he left them hanging from him. He wasn't too nervous, but every now and then a shiver would go down his spine, as happens to any soldier before every battle. Nobody had ever attempted to try to take Hogwarts, and he knew that it would be a long and difficult battle. In spite of this, he kept his composure with a solid face of stone, a composure of rock so strong that not even an earthquake could split.
Looking over to his right and left, Timerous could see that the spiders were nervous. The hairs white transluecent hairs on their legs stood like needles on a porcupine, and they shuffled to and fro restlessly. "Be calm," Timerous told them, "For the righteous always prevail." Timerous always had good sayings ready for times like these to calm his troops, and this time the effect was no different. The spiders took deep breaths and regained their composure.
After a few minutes of silence, the sun began to peak over the horizon. The time had come. Timerous spoke.
"Now, spidermen, we walk into the shadow of the valley of death. Fear no evil, for we are about to experience it in the next twenty-four hours. Remember what you are fighting for; you are fighting for your children, you are fighting for your mother, father, sisters, and brothers, and above all you are fighting for freedom. Do not relent, do not waiver, for the moment you do, you will be dead. Never retreat. Fight to the last man. Spidermen, this is the End Game. As of now, you are free spiders, and to keep this freedom you must earn it in blood. Under my leadership, we will shed plenty of it and we will not fail. Under God, we are righteous, and we will not fail!"
The spiders clicked their mandibles together in applause. They were ready; he was ready. Timerous climbed onto his spider and approached the front of the line, facing towards the castle. "Artillery! Open fire!" he yelled. Upon this command, the treeline behind him boomed with thunder and flashed like lightening as the first rounds were fired towards Hogwarts. The battle had begun.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Response to Persuassion Video
I think that appealing to the audience's emotions will be most important to my persuasive speech. There are many people in the country who are steadfast against the military, but if I can appeal to their emotions there's a good chance I'll be able to get them to budge. Using facts and statistics of military deaths in the past 7 years I can gain the sympathy of the people for servicemembers and the military as a whole. Then, using that sympathy, I can slip in the solution and how they can make a difference.
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| Retrieved from http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/R1ElkAGwjER/Funeral+Held+Army+Ranger+Killed+Afghanistan/i4Q2xZa_6Qq/Amy+Klobuchar |
Monday, October 18, 2010
Manhood
The other day over a bag of sunflower seeds my step dad asked me if I thought I was a man. I paused for about 30 seconds. Usually I have a quick answer ready for everything and anything he asks me, but I didn't. I really didn't know what to say. I didn't think I wasn't, but I didn't think I was yet either. It's very difficult to give an objective answer to such a subjective topic. So I merely said "I don't know" and that conversation stopped there.
Last night I couldn't really sleep, for God knows what reason. During the time between sleep and consciousness, I had plenty of time to think. I thought of decisions I made and how they affected me. Eventually these thoughts led to others. Eventually I asked myself "Why don't I just go do bad things if the consequences aren't that bad?" For a little bit of background information, my step dad had always told me to weigh the consequences of decisions to see if something's worth doing. Anyway, after asking myself that question, I immediately thought "because it's wrong".
And that's how everything in this post is connected. I believe that a good man doesn't weigh consequences of good and bad decisions. If people do that, they might think that the good consequences outweigh the bad ones for bad things, and then go and do the bad thing. No, a good man does quite the opposite. A man ignores the bad consequences of good things and ignores the good consequences of bad things. In other words, he does what he knows is right. I think that is one of the key components of manhood, something that can only be experienced, not taught.
Last night I couldn't really sleep, for God knows what reason. During the time between sleep and consciousness, I had plenty of time to think. I thought of decisions I made and how they affected me. Eventually these thoughts led to others. Eventually I asked myself "Why don't I just go do bad things if the consequences aren't that bad?" For a little bit of background information, my step dad had always told me to weigh the consequences of decisions to see if something's worth doing. Anyway, after asking myself that question, I immediately thought "because it's wrong".
And that's how everything in this post is connected. I believe that a good man doesn't weigh consequences of good and bad decisions. If people do that, they might think that the good consequences outweigh the bad ones for bad things, and then go and do the bad thing. No, a good man does quite the opposite. A man ignores the bad consequences of good things and ignores the good consequences of bad things. In other words, he does what he knows is right. I think that is one of the key components of manhood, something that can only be experienced, not taught.
Friday, October 15, 2010
New fish species found deep below ocean surface
This post is based upon the article of the title.
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/15/new-fish-species-found-deep-below-ocean-surface/
In summary, scientists have recently found new species of fish and crustaceans deep within the ocean in large chasms, one of which being off the coasts of Peru and Chile. In these trenches, they found new species of fish. One is called the snailfish and is ghostly white in appearance. Other shrimp-like crustaceans were found in abundance, along with cusk-eels. This is a remarkable discovery for the scientific community as a whole because it was previously believed that no fish could survive the conditions within these chasms, which were around 4.5 miles deep. For comparison, the pressure within them is around 10,000 pounds per square inch, which is an awfully high pressure if you ask me.
One thing that intrigued me, though, was this excerpt from the article:
“It begs the question of why and how they can live so deep in this trench but not in any other,” said Niamh Kilgallen, an expert on the creatures at the New Zealand institute.
Well I have a rather simple answer for this 'expert' scientist. These deep underwater trenches are very comparable to the Galapagos Islands. What I mean by that is, as on the Islands, conditions were just right in the trenches for this life to form and evolve over many years. Asking the question "why weren't they in other trenches" is comparable to asking "why weren't the Galapagos Tortoises on other islands in the Pacific.
Another thing that might have contributed to these new types of fish only appearing in select locations is tectonic plate movements. For example, some of the trenches that other species lived in might have become unstable and collapsed due to seismic or volcanic activity. Or, because the trenches were so deep in those locations, too much heat might have seeped from the ocean floor and prevented anything from thriving. If the former hypothesis is correct, we might possible find fossils of fish we never thought existed within ocean trenches or even possibly mere low spots in oceans that have much seismic activity.
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/15/new-fish-species-found-deep-below-ocean-surface/
In summary, scientists have recently found new species of fish and crustaceans deep within the ocean in large chasms, one of which being off the coasts of Peru and Chile. In these trenches, they found new species of fish. One is called the snailfish and is ghostly white in appearance. Other shrimp-like crustaceans were found in abundance, along with cusk-eels. This is a remarkable discovery for the scientific community as a whole because it was previously believed that no fish could survive the conditions within these chasms, which were around 4.5 miles deep. For comparison, the pressure within them is around 10,000 pounds per square inch, which is an awfully high pressure if you ask me.
One thing that intrigued me, though, was this excerpt from the article:
“It begs the question of why and how they can live so deep in this trench but not in any other,” said Niamh Kilgallen, an expert on the creatures at the New Zealand institute.
Well I have a rather simple answer for this 'expert' scientist. These deep underwater trenches are very comparable to the Galapagos Islands. What I mean by that is, as on the Islands, conditions were just right in the trenches for this life to form and evolve over many years. Asking the question "why weren't they in other trenches" is comparable to asking "why weren't the Galapagos Tortoises on other islands in the Pacific.
Another thing that might have contributed to these new types of fish only appearing in select locations is tectonic plate movements. For example, some of the trenches that other species lived in might have become unstable and collapsed due to seismic or volcanic activity. Or, because the trenches were so deep in those locations, too much heat might have seeped from the ocean floor and prevented anything from thriving. If the former hypothesis is correct, we might possible find fossils of fish we never thought existed within ocean trenches or even possibly mere low spots in oceans that have much seismic activity.
Invictus
Great movie and poem:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Never Trust a Goat
The attacked person wishes to remain anonymous, so we have chosen the name, Timapheus, in place of theirs.
On the morning of October 15, 2010, Timapheus was going about his daily chores, preparing for the school day ahead. It was Friday, and he was rather excited. Timapheus emptied the dishwasher, prepared his books and sachel, and had one task left. This task was a simple one, one he had done daily for the past few months. His task was to feed the goats in the backyard.
There were three goats in the pen. One was a middle aged full grown male, who was docile in nature. Another was a pygmy female who, like the large male, was also docile and pleasant. The remaining goat, however, had had a bad streak since birth. A middle aged male pygmy goat, his colors were black and white, with a hint of brown. While he was sweet in appearance, the slightest mistake could prove to be deadly.
Timapheus arrived at the goat pen and fed them some hay. The goats were thrilled with this, but through the darkness he could hear the male pygmy, making a sneezing noise. The goat often did this as a dispute of territory. This had often annoyed Timapheus.
After this, he grabbed the food and water and proceded to the door to the pen. He waited until the goats couldn't see him and made his move. He ran into the pen, closing the door behind him and trying to get to the open section where he would be able to move around if he were attacked. Before he got there, the male pygmy appeared between him and the opening. This time, Timapheus had enough space to easily push the small goat back, out into the opening where he could move around and give them food.
Timapheus wasn't too frightened by this, as this often happened in the morning. The male pygmy was often eager to get as much food as possible and would run in circles around Timapheus. He always had to watch his step to be careful the small goat didn't ram him in the legs.
Timapheus moved forward, found the small dish the other two goats ate from, and filled it. The male pygmy never messed with that one, for he knew that if he did the larger male would fight him off.
The male pygmy was an opportunist, taking advantage of any situation that would come about, even if it inflicted pain upon others. He was greedy and a thief, and Timapheus always kept an eye on him.
However, this time Timapheus had to take his eyes off him in order to find the stump off which he ate. Timapheus prepared to put the food down when suddenly he heard hooves rhythmically slapping the ground behind him. Before Timapheus had time to turn around, he felt the horns of the male pygmy hit home directly on the back of his ankle at his Achilles tendon. Timapheus cursed in pain. The male pygmy ran to the front of him, anticipating that Timapheus had dropped the food. He had not. Instead, Timapheus tried dropping a kick on the goat, missing. Frustrated, he threw the food from the bowl, scattering it about the yard, and left.
It is still uncertain what Timapheus plans on doing in retaliation, but he has hinted that he will get a spray bottle and teach that goat a lesson when he comes back for food... (Goats hate water, especially sprayed water.)
On the morning of October 15, 2010, Timapheus was going about his daily chores, preparing for the school day ahead. It was Friday, and he was rather excited. Timapheus emptied the dishwasher, prepared his books and sachel, and had one task left. This task was a simple one, one he had done daily for the past few months. His task was to feed the goats in the backyard.
There were three goats in the pen. One was a middle aged full grown male, who was docile in nature. Another was a pygmy female who, like the large male, was also docile and pleasant. The remaining goat, however, had had a bad streak since birth. A middle aged male pygmy goat, his colors were black and white, with a hint of brown. While he was sweet in appearance, the slightest mistake could prove to be deadly.
Timapheus arrived at the goat pen and fed them some hay. The goats were thrilled with this, but through the darkness he could hear the male pygmy, making a sneezing noise. The goat often did this as a dispute of territory. This had often annoyed Timapheus.
After this, he grabbed the food and water and proceded to the door to the pen. He waited until the goats couldn't see him and made his move. He ran into the pen, closing the door behind him and trying to get to the open section where he would be able to move around if he were attacked. Before he got there, the male pygmy appeared between him and the opening. This time, Timapheus had enough space to easily push the small goat back, out into the opening where he could move around and give them food.
Timapheus wasn't too frightened by this, as this often happened in the morning. The male pygmy was often eager to get as much food as possible and would run in circles around Timapheus. He always had to watch his step to be careful the small goat didn't ram him in the legs.
Timapheus moved forward, found the small dish the other two goats ate from, and filled it. The male pygmy never messed with that one, for he knew that if he did the larger male would fight him off.
The male pygmy was an opportunist, taking advantage of any situation that would come about, even if it inflicted pain upon others. He was greedy and a thief, and Timapheus always kept an eye on him.
However, this time Timapheus had to take his eyes off him in order to find the stump off which he ate. Timapheus prepared to put the food down when suddenly he heard hooves rhythmically slapping the ground behind him. Before Timapheus had time to turn around, he felt the horns of the male pygmy hit home directly on the back of his ankle at his Achilles tendon. Timapheus cursed in pain. The male pygmy ran to the front of him, anticipating that Timapheus had dropped the food. He had not. Instead, Timapheus tried dropping a kick on the goat, missing. Frustrated, he threw the food from the bowl, scattering it about the yard, and left.
It is still uncertain what Timapheus plans on doing in retaliation, but he has hinted that he will get a spray bottle and teach that goat a lesson when he comes back for food... (Goats hate water, especially sprayed water.)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Timapheus Times
Today I am extremely tired. All week I've only been getting 6 to 7 hours of sleep each night, which is very little for me. I would drink coffee, just I'm not allowed to at home because there isn't enough for everyone. By the way, I drink my coffee black because I like it best that way. Anyway, I am very tired. I made an omelet for breakfast this morning, but this time out of white eggs instead of brown eggs. I thought that it would be easier this way because the brown eggs are harder to crack; they're more flexible. I quickly found, though, that the white eggs didn't fill the pan as evenly and had several bubble holes within the omelet shell; the brown eggs make the omelet shell or case smooth and even.
Anywho, I'm going camping this weekend to Garden of the Gods. It seems like it's going to be pretty neat and fun, and hopefully it shall be. I love camping, and I haven't gone in a while so this should be fun. It's also going to be in the eighties this weekend, which will be great so we don't have to freeze in the forest.
Anywho, I'm going camping this weekend to Garden of the Gods. It seems like it's going to be pretty neat and fun, and hopefully it shall be. I love camping, and I haven't gone in a while so this should be fun. It's also going to be in the eighties this weekend, which will be great so we don't have to freeze in the forest.
The Adventures of Timerous Adventurus the Great (So far)
Please keep in mind that this was previously split into chapters and different parts, so at points it might seem a bit choppy. Some content may be questionable. If so, please report it.
Once upon a time, there was a magnificent rainbow castle, far larger than the eye could see. 'Twas made of magical rainbow bricks from the sorcerers cliffs, and it stood 500 miles into the Earths atmosphere and into space. In the Rainbow Castle there were many magnificent and fascinating creatures, everything from rainbow dragons to rainbow foxes!
One day, on one of his many journeys, Timerous Adventurous the Great spotted the Rainbow Castle from afar. "Wow," Timmy said in awe. The sight of the castle and its many magnificent rainbow creatures put him in a stupor for quite some time, until his burro kicked him in the kiester. "Ouch!" Timmy exclaimed in indignant pain. He kicked the small burro aside, mounted it, and began his journey to the Rainbow Castle.
One secret the castle withheld, however, was a dreadful one. Nobody who had ever entered the Rainbow Castle ever returned. In fact, the Rainbow creatures, appearing kind at first, were in fact carnivorous, and used the castle to lore in prey for their afternoon snack.
Timmy, unknowing, continued his journey to the Rainbow Castle. Finally, after two days of weary travel, he reached the castle. "Bloody!" he remarked at the sight of the withdrawn bridge. He approached the Rainbow waters of the Rainbow Castle's rainbow moat and exclaimed, "Is anyone here?", in his best North England accent.
"Aye," said a deep voice from within the castle. "Who art thou?"
"I am Timerous Adventurous the Great, and I come to explore the Soul of the Rainbow Castle!"
"Enter!" The drawbridge lowered. Timerous entered with caution, slightly frightened of the deep colorful voice. However, once he saw the contents of the Rainbow Castle, his fear left him. The magnificent halls had massive columns made of Rainbow candy cane, with fountains of the spectacular rainbow water he had seen coming in in the moat. Timerous saw the magnificent rainbow creatures he had heard so much about; they sparkled in the rainbow refracted light from the prisms that made up the skylights.
"Hello!" one remarked in a rather gay voice. "You're just in time for supper Timerous!"
"What's for supper?" Timerous asked, still in awe by these spectacular rainbow speaking creatures.
"YOU!" the creature screamed.
Suddenly, the doors slammed shut. The room turned dark, and all of the magnificent colors disappeared. The rainbow fountain rainbow water was not rainbow water at all, but really gasoline! The creature lit the gasoline fountain and the fountain turned into an industrial sized oven. The rainbow candy cane columns disintegrated to show cold, black stone columns, with several knives hanging down. The rainbow dragons and rainbow foxes weren't really rainbow at all, but real foxes and dragons!
Suddenly Timerous was frightened...
Timerous was in a fix now; everywhere he looked, the once inviting, jolly surroundings were turning bleak and unforgiving. Suddenly, everything was still. The fountain of fire casted long shadows from the large columns, illuminating dark shadows of creatures in the corners of the rooms. They did not want him to leave - that was clear to him now. But what wasn't clear was why...
"You are probably wondering why we have trapped you here Timerous," said the deep voice from the shadows he had heard upon entering. "Well the truth is, even though the Rainbow Castle is beautiful and mystic enough, there was never a food storage room built. For centuries, we have been bound here by the powerful wizard Fiddlesticks without any food to sustain our bodies. We've been forced to feast on the blood of the innocent and unknowing, Timerous, and that is why you are in this room with us now... I'm sorry Timerous," said the deep voice shamefully.
Timerous was terrified at this point. Why would they want to eat Timerous Adventurus the Great of all immortals? If they began to feast on him, they would surely continue to feast for the rest of eternity! He had to stop them, and he had to vanquish the deep voice from within!
"You'll never take me alive!" exclaimed Timerous, now drawing his sword from its scabbard.
"I beg to differ," the deep voice said calmly. "You aren't the first one to resist, and you CERTAINLY wont be the last!" he screamed like a banshee. "ATTACK MY BEASTS OF THE DARKNESS! FEAST!"
At his command the mysterious once rainbow beasts of the shadows crept forward, silently. The beasts appeared completely emaciated, and hungry for their first meal in surely centuries. "Oh bloody..." Timerous said under his breath. He had underestimated these Rainbow Creatures. "Now, with the power of the sword of Jesus and my own immortality, I will vanquish thee RAINBOW CASTLE!!!!!"
The beasts launched forward...
The beasts flew through the air like shadows across the floor. Oh bloody, Timerous thought. Suddenly, Timerous picked up the whistle hanging from his neck and blew it thrice. While he was waiting for it's effect, he brought his sword of Jesus to the sky. "HALLELUJAH!!!" Timerous screamed. Then he, in turn launched forward at the beasts.
He hacked and he sliced and he hacked and he sliced and he hacked and sliced some more at the beasts, with cleanly sheered heads flying about. Their blood was black, and when it made contact with the floor and walls it turned rainbow.
This wasn't the first time Timerous had used his sword, for he was an expert it swordsmanship. He once had to use it to kill the evil elves of Moscow back in 1789. But all of those dead elves had indeed paid off. Every swing of the sword was now a cleanly cut off head.
"Oh crap!" Timerous exclaimed! There is not time for remembering stuff! he thought to himself.
Suddenly, the little light from the skylight was now blocked out. The room was completely black now except for the fountain of fire. This distracted the beasts.
"Now it's game time you bloody wankers!" Timerous exclaimed.
Suddenly something large smashed through the skylight! It was... it was... El Burro, Timerous' sidekick and faithful donkey!
"Burro! I knew you would come!" Timerous exclaimed...
"Of course, Timerous! How could I leave my lover to die like this?" El Burro replied. By now, the walls were stained rainbow with the blood of beasts. El Burro saw this and the beasts and prepared for some kungfu combat! "You foolish beasts! You think you can defeat me in kungfu combat and my lover Timerous Adventurus the Great in battle?"
"Actually no," came the surprising reply from the deep voice from within the Rainbow Castle. "If we continue this nonsense then we will all drown in the blood of the beasts... literally. I have a proposition for you Timerous," said the deep voice.
"What is this proposition you speak of?" replied Timerous, confounded.
"The beasts of the Rainbow Castle will allow you to leave so long as you promise to find the wizard Lord Fiddlesticks and undo this curse upon the beasts. Otherwise, we will all drown in the blood of the beasts."
Timerous considered this generous offer. He was always up for another adventure no matter how dangerous. "Ok. I'll do it!" Timerous exclaimed, sliding his sword back into it's scabbard. He could never turn down an adventure.
"There is one small hitch, however," said the deep voice. "You see, the beasts are still hungry, and will not let you leave without a sacrifice to them to sustain them for the next few days... I'm afraid El Burro must stay."
El Burro was mortified. "No, Timerous, no no no no no! Don't let them do this! We're lovers, remember? Lovers!" El Burro cried.
"I'm sorry El Burro, but I must save these poor beasts... I'm sorry," Timerous said sadly. Then, "Deal!" he exclaimed, and ran out without looking back.
"NOOOO!!!!!" El Burro screeched as the beasts began tearing him apart into pieces and feasting on his innards.
The last Timerous ever heard from El Burro was a final scream of pain.
It was now night, Timerous observed upon exiting the Rainbow Castle...
"Oh Shiznit!" Timerous exclaimed, reaching the realization that he had no clue where Lord Fiddlesticks lived. However, Timerous remembered, he did know someone who knew where all of the magical creatures in the world resided. Why, for a bit of Jew gold, he could get the information from this 'little bird' and find Lord Fiddlesticks!
At once, Timerous embarked on the journey to the Nazi Leprechaun's safehouse. Ever since the fuzz nearly caught him dealing, this Leprechaun had to stay in hiding else he be captured.
After 25.4 days of travel, Timerous had reached the Nazi Leprechaun's safehouse.
"Hark!" Timerous exclaimed upon reaching the front door, cleverly disguised as a big metal pot.
"Who be there?" came a sharp squeaking voice from within said pot.
"Tis I, Timerous Adventurus the Great, wielding the Sword of Jesus! I have come to ask you a question regarding the location of a magical creature," Timerous explained.
"Enter..." said the Nazi Leprechaun, the top of the pot opening for him to enter.
Timerous was in a rather emo mood ever since arriving at the Nazi Leprechaun's house, for a Siren had been following him to the safehouse, all the while trying to seduce him into straying off his path. Timerous was fed up with her. But he managed to avoid said Siren.
Upon sliding down the hatch of the giant pot, Timerous was in awe with the ornate decor. Posters of Hitler hung from the walls, with pots of gold underneath them, for the Nazi Leprechauns were the guardians of all Nazi gold.
"Come in," said the Nazi Leprechaun, "but be warned: DO NOT TOUCH THE GOLD else I will slit your throat."
Timerous entered, slightly worried by the not so warm welcome, but soon forgot about it as they talked of their families and lives...
After their cheery conversation over a cup of tea, Timerous soon got to the point, "So, I need to know where the powerful wizard Lord Fiddlesticks resides. That bloody wanker laid a curse on the Rainbow Castle yonder," Timerous concluded.
"Aye, I know where he be," said the Nazi Leprechaun in his best Irish Nazi accent. "But it will cost ye," he continued. "Ye must first bring me a sword, a sword so powerful that it will smite all of its enemies with a single blow! Then I will give you your information."
Timerous was reluctant with this exchange, because there is only one sword ever created that has such power, the Sword of Jesus. After a few moments of thought, Timerous had come to a decision. "Deal," Timerous said, "but you must treat it with respect!"
"Aye, aye I hear ye!"
What the Nazi Leprechaun did not know, however, is that Timerous planned to reclaim the Sword of Jesus shortly after he freed the creatures of the Rainbow Castle.
"Ok," said the Nazi Leprechaun after receiving the Sword of Jesus in his cold, filthy, clawed hands. "The Lord Fiddlesticks that you speak of does not exist."
"WHAT?!?" Timerous exclaimed, "YOU BLOODY-"
"I'm kidding I'm kidding!" claimed the Nazi Leprechaun upon seeing that he was about to get owned. "Lord Fiddlesticks is at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where you registered as a magical creature, you being immortal."
"Don't joke like that with me again..." said Timerous, as he exited the giant metal pot on his journey to Hogwarts, and from there to Lord Fiddlesticks and the secret of the Rainbow Castle...
Ah, so here we are again with our good friend, Timerous Adventurus the Great. It took Timerous 16.7 days of constant journeying to reach Hogwarts, and Timerous was exhausted, even though he was immortal. He decided, then, to take a nap under a large tree in the Forbidden Forest before he entered into the castle itself.
Timerous then found a nice large oak tree, and soon dozed into a deep sleep. Here he had a dream:
He dreamed that he was flying in the skies on some flying machine that he had never thought could be possible. The flying machine dipped and curved and sliced through the air like a hot knife through someones leg. Off to the sides, he saw, were several other flying machines. They were made of metal, he saw, and using some wizardry or coal burner, were thrust through the air at high speeds. They had wing-like appendages to the sides with large metal objects hanging from them. They also had a narrow appendage similar to a musket barrel on the front of the flying machine. Perhaps this was some sort of defense for the flying machine?
Suddenly, numerous other flying machines came into sight on the horizon. The drivers of the flying machines Timerous was with suddenly started speaking in a strange language somewhat similar to English that he did not understand: "Command, foxtrot, several tango on radar. Requesting permission to engage, over."
"Roger, foxtrot, command, permission granted. Remember rules of engagement, over."
"Roger command, foxtrot out."
It was like random English words were thrown into irrelevant sentences; it was a mockery of the English language.
Suddenly, this ring leader gave commands to the other flying machine drivers, and all of the flying machines grouped together closely, so closely that Timerous was afraid they might collide into each other. But they maintained their distances.
The two groups of flying machines were now closing the distance between them. Suddenly, the metal objects hanging from the wings of the flying machine fell down into the sky, and were thrust even faster through the air than the flying machines themselves.
A large group of these were now coming from the other flying machine group as well. When both groups were in close proximity to the metal objects, both groups veered off and swerved madly.
Suddenly, several of these metal objects found the flying machines, and once these objects hit, there were large fiery flames! These weren't metal objects at all, but really weapons! Suddenly the sky was alight with flame and splattering blood and metal! Blood covered the windows of the ring leaders driving area! They were dropping to the Earth!
Timerous awoke with a start...
When Timerous awoke, he noticed that it was now night in the Forbidden Forest. "Oh Shizzle!" Timerous remarked. The Forbidden Forest was no place to be after dark, for several mysterious and dark creatures emerged at this time.
"I'll never get out of this forest just standing here," Timerous said to himself, rather annoyed. Thus, he began his journey out of the Forbidden Forrest. Timerous thought that this would be an easy task, for he had been taught wilderness survival by Julius Caesars legionaries back in the day. However, normal wilderness survival wasn't enough to survive in the Forbidden Forest, for the Forbidden Forest was a magical forest full of Forbidden secrets; to survive in the Forbidden Forest one must know Forbidden survival. What Timerous did not know was that the sun and the moon above the forest moved in circles instead of rising in the east and setting in the west. What he also didn't know was that large cavern-like pits were strewn across the ground, dug by massive spiders so they could capture and suck the blood of small children that ventured into the forest. thus, the Forbidden Forest was essentially a death trap of mammoth proportion!!!
After about an hour of walking, Timerous noticed that he was going in circles, thanks to the circling moon.
"Oh blimey!" Timerous exclaimed upon this realization. "At this rate I'm going I'll never make it-" Timerous was stopped in mid-sentence. He had heard a distinctive noise ahead of him, a noise similar to a rock falling into a pond in a ravine. After about a minute of waiting in silence, Timerous concluded that it must have been his imagination playing tricks on his mind in the darkness.
Timerous continued on, convinced by the little moonlight there was that it had indeed been his imagination, for there was no water in sight.
Suddenly, after about 20 feet of walking, the ground beneath Timerous began to tremble. Suddenly, the ground became a cascade of falling rocks and debris, continuing to fall into a seemingly endless pit of doom. Timerous was one of the debris. Using his catlike reflexes, Timerous sprang across the pit to a part of it where he was sure he wouldn't be crushed by the massive rocks entombing everything in their path.
After 10 seconds, it was all over. As the dust began to settle, Timerous was shocked to see that this had indeed been a trap, not a mine subsidence. The fact that this had been a trap hadn't scared him as much as the proportion of the trap. This pitfall trap was fifty feet deep in the ground, with a radius of fifteen feet. Huge telephone pole-like poles were lashed together, holding the uncollapsed ground on the other half of the pit. This pit was magnificently engineered, Timerous noted. Not many mammals could pull this one off.
But this place wasn't ordinary; this place was forbidden, and for a reason.
"I must find a way out of this bloody trap!" Timerous exclaimed in indignity. He was only slightly scuffed up from the fall, which he healed instantly using his potion from the druids of Gaul. Before Timerous could begin climbing out, however, he heard a strange sound that stopped him. It was a sound like no other sound he had heard before. It was a sound similar to that off a metallic object tapping a table, except repeated a thousand fold. "What ever could that sound be?" Timerous wondered in awe.
The sound grew louder, and louder, until suddenly it seemed to swarm around him. I better switch to night vision to see what that noise is, Timerous thought. As he switched his eyes to night vision, however, what he saw scared the bejeebers out of him!
"OH MEIN GOTT!!!!!!" Timerous screamed in his best German accent. Hundreds of huge spiders were encompassing him. Timerous began to tremble, for he was utterly horrified of spiders. However, he managed to overcome this fear to speak: "Spiders, I come in peace! Please bring me your leader so I may explain to him my situation!"
The spiders thought about his offer. They recently had had a large of meal of small children, so they were not hungry at the moment. But, as was the saying in spider history, you don't let your food get away, for you will miss it. After a three moments of thought, the spiders announced their decision. One of the spiders came forward. In a metallic, high pitched voice, it spoke: "You may see the leader. But, if the leader is not pleased with your purpose, then you will be my dinner!"
"Yea, thanks," Timerous said sarcastically. As he saw it, they had two options: Let him go in peace, or face eradication by Timerous Adventurus the Great, the immortal!
As Timerous thought this, a small petite spider began to run into the deep caves below the pit. After about ten minutes passed by, Timerous began hearing thunderous noises coming from the depths of the caves. Timerous was frightened; who knew what these foul creatures had in store for him.
Suddenly a spider of enormous proportions emerged from one of the cave openings. At first, Timerous was horrified. Soon, however, his confidence of iron took over, and he spoke to the mammoth spider.
"I have a proposition for you, Mr. , eh, what is your name?"
The spider seemed not to have heard a word he said and only responded with one word: "Achuta!" Upon the instant Timerous heard this he knew what language these spiders spoke: Huttese, the language their ancestor, Jabba the Hutt, spoke!
Timerous tried again, "Me hatta guta!"
"What is this proposition you speak of?" said the giant spider, rather interested in what Timerous had to say. Giant spiders were always looking for good deals.
Timerous thought for a New York second, and spoke, "If you supply me with weapons and a way into Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry, then, once I get what I want, you will have all of the children and professors in the castle to yourselves!"
"What is it that ye seek in Hogwarts?" the giant spider questioned, one eyebrow raised, "Because for centuries we have sought passage into that evil place and for centuries we have been stomped on. Do you think we enjoy living in this dark, dirty, wet forest all of the time?!? I haven't had a warm bubbly bath for years!!!" the giant spider exclaimed."Do you seriously think you, a mere human, can break their defenses of magnitude proportion?!?"
"Yes," Timerous said,"For I am Timerous Adventurus the Great!!!"
"Ok then..." the giant spider seemed doubtful of Timerous, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. "What is it that you seek from Hogwarts?"
"I seek to eliminate the powerful Lord Fiddlesticks, the Lord Fiddlesticks that besieged the Rainbow Castle with a hellish spell, making them suffer for centuries." Timerous continued, "Once I eliminate Lord Fiddlesticks, I will grant you your new castle, but first, you must trust me and give me weapons."
"What kind of weapons will you require?" questioned the giant spider calmly.
"May I see your armoury?" questioned Timerous, politely.
"Certainly," replied the giant spider. Timerous mounted the giant spider's back, and they descended deep in the the Spiders' Lair.
The stone of the passageways' floors were damp and cold. Timerous couldn't help but feel rather helpless as they descended deep within the caverns. At any point in time, these spiders could overwhelm him and eat the meat right off his bones. He was at the mercy of the Giant Spider and his terrorist spider regime.
However, soon the convoy came to a stop after twenty torturing minutes. "Open!" bellowed the Giant Spider King, known as Master Spider. Upon this command, Timerous heard the sound of a large boulder scraping against the ground and felt a rush of warm air greet his face through the black burlap bag that had been placed over his face before they'd descended.
"Thank God for gas furnaces," Master Spider said, thankfully. Upon this remark, the spiders all once again resumed their scurrying, shuffling walk, with the clicking of their feet against the stone floor sending a chill down Timerous' spine, a chill that not even the most comfy blanky in the world could suppress. "Does something bother you, Timerous?" questioned Master Spider, in a rather mocking tone.
"Not at all, Master Spider," replied Timerous, trying to show what was left of his fleeting courage. Obviously, from the look of Master Spider's face, even the little courage that remained in Timerous far outweighed the courage of any human, let alone a mere mortal. Timerous, however, being blind-folded, could not see this, and tried to retain his composure.
However, when the black bag was removed from his head, he was quickly at ease. Instead of seeing the meal room of the Spider's Lair as he had feared, he gazed at a room brightly lit by several torches with bright gunmetal glimmering from the high walls, illuminating the room even more. "Blimey..." muttered Timerous, in awe, forgetting for a moment that his hosts spoke Huttese, not British. Upon this realization, Timerous corrected himself, "Bagonka!"
Timerous was more than pleased with the lavish selection. Upon the walls hung pistols, machine guns, assault rifles, and other weapons of all shapes, colors, and sizes. Timerous was in a stupor for quite some time when Master Spider awoke him. "Timerous!" he bellowed.
Shocked, Timerous replied how he was trained to in the SAS. He grabbed a silver pistol from the wall, cocked it while rolling behind cover, and aimed at Master Spider's seventh eyeball. With this, Master Spider's minions began to ready themselves for a fight. After a moment, Timerous had realized what he had done. As quickly as he had reacted, Timerous lowered the pistol and began to apologize until he was interrupted by Master Spider. "Timerous, I am honored by your threats! Here in Spiders' Lair it is considered an honor to be threatened by fierce and courageous warriors!" Master Spider made a gesture towards the walls. "Take any weapons you desire!" yelled Master Spider, with a large genial grin on his face.
Timerous was rather perplexed, but accepted this gesture openly. He smiled back at Master Spider, and began placing weapons and ammunition in a cart supplied by the spider minions. One weapon, however, a black Barretta 9mm with stainless steel plating, he placed in his waistband. You never know what these spiders might do, he thought.
"Now," said Timerous, "I will need to use a LAN line to make a few phone calls."
"What for? I have supplied you with everything you could possibly need!" replied Master Spider, indignantly.
"Umm... Yes, uh, you have, but there are a few people I must add to my operation to improve the survivability of your me.. uh I mean spiders!"
"Very well, there is a LAN line in the intelligence room upstairs. I will have my personal Minion Guard escort you. You may also acquire maps of Hogwarts in said room," added Master Spider.
"Thank you, sir!" replied Timerous, as the black burlap back was replaced over his head and they began their journeys once more through the damp, winding passageways.
After fifteen additional minutes of decent, Timerous and the spiders finally arrived at the intelligence room. Timerous glanced at the clock- it was three am in Indiana. Perfect, he thought. Timerous found the phone, picked it up, and dialed a number he had etched in his memory.
After two rings or so, a jovial yet boring voice answered. "Why, hello!" answered the voice.
"Doctor, it's so nice to hear from you!" Timerous replied, really meaning it. "I have an offer for you. It's a very dangerous operation, but also very rewarding..." Timerous' voice trailed off.
"Why, what's that?" asked the Doctor.
"We are staging an assault on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," replied Timerous, quite curtly.
A few moments of silence followed this statement. "I see..." replied the Doctor. "Nothing like this has ever been attempted before..."
"You see, Doctor, we need an expert marksman to eliminate the sentries. I will also be contacting a Special Forces team to disable the force fields."
"Hmm..." said the Doctor, calculating the risk in his head. "What's in it for me?"
"For you, Doctor, you will receive all of the potions and chemicals to your hears desire!" exclaimed Timerous.
On the other side of the line, the Doctor's face lit up with joy, his mouth agape.
"Deal!" he said quickly, not allowing time for the offer to be taken back.
"Good," Timerous replied, "A helicopter will arrive shortly to transport you to the airport. From there, you will travel on a C-130 to the Forbidden Forest, where you will parachute in. Understood?"
"Well, you could say, yes, yes understood," replied the Doctor.
"Bloody brilliant," Timerous said under his breath. Doctor Weathers was one of the best military men of all time, combining science, calculus, and military skill to make of combination of pure death. "Good, Doctor!" Timerous said. "I'll see you before sunrise, local time."
"Why, see you then!" exclaimed Weathers, still bubbly and jovial about the chemicals.
Timerous waited until Weathers hung up the phone before he dialed a second number. So far, so good, he thought.
After a few rings, a man with a crisp, deep voice answered. "Dean and Foster Insurance Agency, how may I help you?"
"Well you can start by cutting the bloody crap," replied Timerous calmly. Dean and Foster Insurance Agency was really codename for Delta Force, just in case somebody had a wrong number. Instead of hearing the name, Delta Force, they heard a name that would be easy to forget moments after hanging up the phone. It was proven by science that this name was most forgettable.
After a few moments, the man replied slowly. "Is this line secure?"
"Yes," said Timerous. "This is Timerous Adventurus the Great. I need an SF team to my location ASAP. How long will it be?"
"Just a moment please," answered the man, while cross-checking Timerous' identity. After confirming it, the man replied. "A team will be at our location within the hour."
"Excellent," said Timerous, satisfied with the results. "Timerous, out."
Once upon a time, there was a magnificent rainbow castle, far larger than the eye could see. 'Twas made of magical rainbow bricks from the sorcerers cliffs, and it stood 500 miles into the Earths atmosphere and into space. In the Rainbow Castle there were many magnificent and fascinating creatures, everything from rainbow dragons to rainbow foxes!
One day, on one of his many journeys, Timerous Adventurous the Great spotted the Rainbow Castle from afar. "Wow," Timmy said in awe. The sight of the castle and its many magnificent rainbow creatures put him in a stupor for quite some time, until his burro kicked him in the kiester. "Ouch!" Timmy exclaimed in indignant pain. He kicked the small burro aside, mounted it, and began his journey to the Rainbow Castle.
One secret the castle withheld, however, was a dreadful one. Nobody who had ever entered the Rainbow Castle ever returned. In fact, the Rainbow creatures, appearing kind at first, were in fact carnivorous, and used the castle to lore in prey for their afternoon snack.
Timmy, unknowing, continued his journey to the Rainbow Castle. Finally, after two days of weary travel, he reached the castle. "Bloody!" he remarked at the sight of the withdrawn bridge. He approached the Rainbow waters of the Rainbow Castle's rainbow moat and exclaimed, "Is anyone here?", in his best North England accent.
"Aye," said a deep voice from within the castle. "Who art thou?"
"I am Timerous Adventurous the Great, and I come to explore the Soul of the Rainbow Castle!"
"Enter!" The drawbridge lowered. Timerous entered with caution, slightly frightened of the deep colorful voice. However, once he saw the contents of the Rainbow Castle, his fear left him. The magnificent halls had massive columns made of Rainbow candy cane, with fountains of the spectacular rainbow water he had seen coming in in the moat. Timerous saw the magnificent rainbow creatures he had heard so much about; they sparkled in the rainbow refracted light from the prisms that made up the skylights.
"Hello!" one remarked in a rather gay voice. "You're just in time for supper Timerous!"
"What's for supper?" Timerous asked, still in awe by these spectacular rainbow speaking creatures.
"YOU!" the creature screamed.
Suddenly, the doors slammed shut. The room turned dark, and all of the magnificent colors disappeared. The rainbow fountain rainbow water was not rainbow water at all, but really gasoline! The creature lit the gasoline fountain and the fountain turned into an industrial sized oven. The rainbow candy cane columns disintegrated to show cold, black stone columns, with several knives hanging down. The rainbow dragons and rainbow foxes weren't really rainbow at all, but real foxes and dragons!
Suddenly Timerous was frightened...
Timerous was in a fix now; everywhere he looked, the once inviting, jolly surroundings were turning bleak and unforgiving. Suddenly, everything was still. The fountain of fire casted long shadows from the large columns, illuminating dark shadows of creatures in the corners of the rooms. They did not want him to leave - that was clear to him now. But what wasn't clear was why...
"You are probably wondering why we have trapped you here Timerous," said the deep voice from the shadows he had heard upon entering. "Well the truth is, even though the Rainbow Castle is beautiful and mystic enough, there was never a food storage room built. For centuries, we have been bound here by the powerful wizard Fiddlesticks without any food to sustain our bodies. We've been forced to feast on the blood of the innocent and unknowing, Timerous, and that is why you are in this room with us now... I'm sorry Timerous," said the deep voice shamefully.
Timerous was terrified at this point. Why would they want to eat Timerous Adventurus the Great of all immortals? If they began to feast on him, they would surely continue to feast for the rest of eternity! He had to stop them, and he had to vanquish the deep voice from within!
"You'll never take me alive!" exclaimed Timerous, now drawing his sword from its scabbard.
"I beg to differ," the deep voice said calmly. "You aren't the first one to resist, and you CERTAINLY wont be the last!" he screamed like a banshee. "ATTACK MY BEASTS OF THE DARKNESS! FEAST!"
At his command the mysterious once rainbow beasts of the shadows crept forward, silently. The beasts appeared completely emaciated, and hungry for their first meal in surely centuries. "Oh bloody..." Timerous said under his breath. He had underestimated these Rainbow Creatures. "Now, with the power of the sword of Jesus and my own immortality, I will vanquish thee RAINBOW CASTLE!!!!!"
The beasts launched forward...
The beasts flew through the air like shadows across the floor. Oh bloody, Timerous thought. Suddenly, Timerous picked up the whistle hanging from his neck and blew it thrice. While he was waiting for it's effect, he brought his sword of Jesus to the sky. "HALLELUJAH!!!" Timerous screamed. Then he, in turn launched forward at the beasts.
He hacked and he sliced and he hacked and he sliced and he hacked and sliced some more at the beasts, with cleanly sheered heads flying about. Their blood was black, and when it made contact with the floor and walls it turned rainbow.
This wasn't the first time Timerous had used his sword, for he was an expert it swordsmanship. He once had to use it to kill the evil elves of Moscow back in 1789. But all of those dead elves had indeed paid off. Every swing of the sword was now a cleanly cut off head.
"Oh crap!" Timerous exclaimed! There is not time for remembering stuff! he thought to himself.
Suddenly, the little light from the skylight was now blocked out. The room was completely black now except for the fountain of fire. This distracted the beasts.
"Now it's game time you bloody wankers!" Timerous exclaimed.
Suddenly something large smashed through the skylight! It was... it was... El Burro, Timerous' sidekick and faithful donkey!
"Burro! I knew you would come!" Timerous exclaimed...
"Of course, Timerous! How could I leave my lover to die like this?" El Burro replied. By now, the walls were stained rainbow with the blood of beasts. El Burro saw this and the beasts and prepared for some kungfu combat! "You foolish beasts! You think you can defeat me in kungfu combat and my lover Timerous Adventurus the Great in battle?"
"Actually no," came the surprising reply from the deep voice from within the Rainbow Castle. "If we continue this nonsense then we will all drown in the blood of the beasts... literally. I have a proposition for you Timerous," said the deep voice.
"What is this proposition you speak of?" replied Timerous, confounded.
"The beasts of the Rainbow Castle will allow you to leave so long as you promise to find the wizard Lord Fiddlesticks and undo this curse upon the beasts. Otherwise, we will all drown in the blood of the beasts."
Timerous considered this generous offer. He was always up for another adventure no matter how dangerous. "Ok. I'll do it!" Timerous exclaimed, sliding his sword back into it's scabbard. He could never turn down an adventure.
"There is one small hitch, however," said the deep voice. "You see, the beasts are still hungry, and will not let you leave without a sacrifice to them to sustain them for the next few days... I'm afraid El Burro must stay."
El Burro was mortified. "No, Timerous, no no no no no! Don't let them do this! We're lovers, remember? Lovers!" El Burro cried.
"I'm sorry El Burro, but I must save these poor beasts... I'm sorry," Timerous said sadly. Then, "Deal!" he exclaimed, and ran out without looking back.
"NOOOO!!!!!" El Burro screeched as the beasts began tearing him apart into pieces and feasting on his innards.
The last Timerous ever heard from El Burro was a final scream of pain.
It was now night, Timerous observed upon exiting the Rainbow Castle...
"Oh Shiznit!" Timerous exclaimed, reaching the realization that he had no clue where Lord Fiddlesticks lived. However, Timerous remembered, he did know someone who knew where all of the magical creatures in the world resided. Why, for a bit of Jew gold, he could get the information from this 'little bird' and find Lord Fiddlesticks!
At once, Timerous embarked on the journey to the Nazi Leprechaun's safehouse. Ever since the fuzz nearly caught him dealing, this Leprechaun had to stay in hiding else he be captured.
After 25.4 days of travel, Timerous had reached the Nazi Leprechaun's safehouse.
"Hark!" Timerous exclaimed upon reaching the front door, cleverly disguised as a big metal pot.
"Who be there?" came a sharp squeaking voice from within said pot.
"Tis I, Timerous Adventurus the Great, wielding the Sword of Jesus! I have come to ask you a question regarding the location of a magical creature," Timerous explained.
"Enter..." said the Nazi Leprechaun, the top of the pot opening for him to enter.
Timerous was in a rather emo mood ever since arriving at the Nazi Leprechaun's house, for a Siren had been following him to the safehouse, all the while trying to seduce him into straying off his path. Timerous was fed up with her. But he managed to avoid said Siren.
Upon sliding down the hatch of the giant pot, Timerous was in awe with the ornate decor. Posters of Hitler hung from the walls, with pots of gold underneath them, for the Nazi Leprechauns were the guardians of all Nazi gold.
"Come in," said the Nazi Leprechaun, "but be warned: DO NOT TOUCH THE GOLD else I will slit your throat."
Timerous entered, slightly worried by the not so warm welcome, but soon forgot about it as they talked of their families and lives...
After their cheery conversation over a cup of tea, Timerous soon got to the point, "So, I need to know where the powerful wizard Lord Fiddlesticks resides. That bloody wanker laid a curse on the Rainbow Castle yonder," Timerous concluded.
"Aye, I know where he be," said the Nazi Leprechaun in his best Irish Nazi accent. "But it will cost ye," he continued. "Ye must first bring me a sword, a sword so powerful that it will smite all of its enemies with a single blow! Then I will give you your information."
Timerous was reluctant with this exchange, because there is only one sword ever created that has such power, the Sword of Jesus. After a few moments of thought, Timerous had come to a decision. "Deal," Timerous said, "but you must treat it with respect!"
"Aye, aye I hear ye!"
What the Nazi Leprechaun did not know, however, is that Timerous planned to reclaim the Sword of Jesus shortly after he freed the creatures of the Rainbow Castle.
"Ok," said the Nazi Leprechaun after receiving the Sword of Jesus in his cold, filthy, clawed hands. "The Lord Fiddlesticks that you speak of does not exist."
"WHAT?!?" Timerous exclaimed, "YOU BLOODY-"
"I'm kidding I'm kidding!" claimed the Nazi Leprechaun upon seeing that he was about to get owned. "Lord Fiddlesticks is at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where you registered as a magical creature, you being immortal."
"Don't joke like that with me again..." said Timerous, as he exited the giant metal pot on his journey to Hogwarts, and from there to Lord Fiddlesticks and the secret of the Rainbow Castle...
Ah, so here we are again with our good friend, Timerous Adventurus the Great. It took Timerous 16.7 days of constant journeying to reach Hogwarts, and Timerous was exhausted, even though he was immortal. He decided, then, to take a nap under a large tree in the Forbidden Forest before he entered into the castle itself.
Timerous then found a nice large oak tree, and soon dozed into a deep sleep. Here he had a dream:
He dreamed that he was flying in the skies on some flying machine that he had never thought could be possible. The flying machine dipped and curved and sliced through the air like a hot knife through someones leg. Off to the sides, he saw, were several other flying machines. They were made of metal, he saw, and using some wizardry or coal burner, were thrust through the air at high speeds. They had wing-like appendages to the sides with large metal objects hanging from them. They also had a narrow appendage similar to a musket barrel on the front of the flying machine. Perhaps this was some sort of defense for the flying machine?
Suddenly, numerous other flying machines came into sight on the horizon. The drivers of the flying machines Timerous was with suddenly started speaking in a strange language somewhat similar to English that he did not understand: "Command, foxtrot, several tango on radar. Requesting permission to engage, over."
"Roger, foxtrot, command, permission granted. Remember rules of engagement, over."
"Roger command, foxtrot out."
It was like random English words were thrown into irrelevant sentences; it was a mockery of the English language.
Suddenly, this ring leader gave commands to the other flying machine drivers, and all of the flying machines grouped together closely, so closely that Timerous was afraid they might collide into each other. But they maintained their distances.
The two groups of flying machines were now closing the distance between them. Suddenly, the metal objects hanging from the wings of the flying machine fell down into the sky, and were thrust even faster through the air than the flying machines themselves.
A large group of these were now coming from the other flying machine group as well. When both groups were in close proximity to the metal objects, both groups veered off and swerved madly.
Suddenly, several of these metal objects found the flying machines, and once these objects hit, there were large fiery flames! These weren't metal objects at all, but really weapons! Suddenly the sky was alight with flame and splattering blood and metal! Blood covered the windows of the ring leaders driving area! They were dropping to the Earth!
Timerous awoke with a start...
When Timerous awoke, he noticed that it was now night in the Forbidden Forest. "Oh Shizzle!" Timerous remarked. The Forbidden Forest was no place to be after dark, for several mysterious and dark creatures emerged at this time.
"I'll never get out of this forest just standing here," Timerous said to himself, rather annoyed. Thus, he began his journey out of the Forbidden Forrest. Timerous thought that this would be an easy task, for he had been taught wilderness survival by Julius Caesars legionaries back in the day. However, normal wilderness survival wasn't enough to survive in the Forbidden Forest, for the Forbidden Forest was a magical forest full of Forbidden secrets; to survive in the Forbidden Forest one must know Forbidden survival. What Timerous did not know was that the sun and the moon above the forest moved in circles instead of rising in the east and setting in the west. What he also didn't know was that large cavern-like pits were strewn across the ground, dug by massive spiders so they could capture and suck the blood of small children that ventured into the forest. thus, the Forbidden Forest was essentially a death trap of mammoth proportion!!!
After about an hour of walking, Timerous noticed that he was going in circles, thanks to the circling moon.
"Oh blimey!" Timerous exclaimed upon this realization. "At this rate I'm going I'll never make it-" Timerous was stopped in mid-sentence. He had heard a distinctive noise ahead of him, a noise similar to a rock falling into a pond in a ravine. After about a minute of waiting in silence, Timerous concluded that it must have been his imagination playing tricks on his mind in the darkness.
Timerous continued on, convinced by the little moonlight there was that it had indeed been his imagination, for there was no water in sight.
Suddenly, after about 20 feet of walking, the ground beneath Timerous began to tremble. Suddenly, the ground became a cascade of falling rocks and debris, continuing to fall into a seemingly endless pit of doom. Timerous was one of the debris. Using his catlike reflexes, Timerous sprang across the pit to a part of it where he was sure he wouldn't be crushed by the massive rocks entombing everything in their path.
After 10 seconds, it was all over. As the dust began to settle, Timerous was shocked to see that this had indeed been a trap, not a mine subsidence. The fact that this had been a trap hadn't scared him as much as the proportion of the trap. This pitfall trap was fifty feet deep in the ground, with a radius of fifteen feet. Huge telephone pole-like poles were lashed together, holding the uncollapsed ground on the other half of the pit. This pit was magnificently engineered, Timerous noted. Not many mammals could pull this one off.
But this place wasn't ordinary; this place was forbidden, and for a reason.
"I must find a way out of this bloody trap!" Timerous exclaimed in indignity. He was only slightly scuffed up from the fall, which he healed instantly using his potion from the druids of Gaul. Before Timerous could begin climbing out, however, he heard a strange sound that stopped him. It was a sound like no other sound he had heard before. It was a sound similar to that off a metallic object tapping a table, except repeated a thousand fold. "What ever could that sound be?" Timerous wondered in awe.
The sound grew louder, and louder, until suddenly it seemed to swarm around him. I better switch to night vision to see what that noise is, Timerous thought. As he switched his eyes to night vision, however, what he saw scared the bejeebers out of him!
"OH MEIN GOTT!!!!!!" Timerous screamed in his best German accent. Hundreds of huge spiders were encompassing him. Timerous began to tremble, for he was utterly horrified of spiders. However, he managed to overcome this fear to speak: "Spiders, I come in peace! Please bring me your leader so I may explain to him my situation!"
The spiders thought about his offer. They recently had had a large of meal of small children, so they were not hungry at the moment. But, as was the saying in spider history, you don't let your food get away, for you will miss it. After a three moments of thought, the spiders announced their decision. One of the spiders came forward. In a metallic, high pitched voice, it spoke: "You may see the leader. But, if the leader is not pleased with your purpose, then you will be my dinner!"
"Yea, thanks," Timerous said sarcastically. As he saw it, they had two options: Let him go in peace, or face eradication by Timerous Adventurus the Great, the immortal!
As Timerous thought this, a small petite spider began to run into the deep caves below the pit. After about ten minutes passed by, Timerous began hearing thunderous noises coming from the depths of the caves. Timerous was frightened; who knew what these foul creatures had in store for him.
Suddenly a spider of enormous proportions emerged from one of the cave openings. At first, Timerous was horrified. Soon, however, his confidence of iron took over, and he spoke to the mammoth spider.
"I have a proposition for you, Mr. , eh, what is your name?"
The spider seemed not to have heard a word he said and only responded with one word: "Achuta!" Upon the instant Timerous heard this he knew what language these spiders spoke: Huttese, the language their ancestor, Jabba the Hutt, spoke!
Timerous tried again, "Me hatta guta!"
"What is this proposition you speak of?" said the giant spider, rather interested in what Timerous had to say. Giant spiders were always looking for good deals.
Timerous thought for a New York second, and spoke, "If you supply me with weapons and a way into Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry, then, once I get what I want, you will have all of the children and professors in the castle to yourselves!"
"What is it that ye seek in Hogwarts?" the giant spider questioned, one eyebrow raised, "Because for centuries we have sought passage into that evil place and for centuries we have been stomped on. Do you think we enjoy living in this dark, dirty, wet forest all of the time?!? I haven't had a warm bubbly bath for years!!!" the giant spider exclaimed."Do you seriously think you, a mere human, can break their defenses of magnitude proportion?!?"
"Yes," Timerous said,"For I am Timerous Adventurus the Great!!!"
"Ok then..." the giant spider seemed doubtful of Timerous, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. "What is it that you seek from Hogwarts?"
"I seek to eliminate the powerful Lord Fiddlesticks, the Lord Fiddlesticks that besieged the Rainbow Castle with a hellish spell, making them suffer for centuries." Timerous continued, "Once I eliminate Lord Fiddlesticks, I will grant you your new castle, but first, you must trust me and give me weapons."
"What kind of weapons will you require?" questioned the giant spider calmly.
"May I see your armoury?" questioned Timerous, politely.
"Certainly," replied the giant spider. Timerous mounted the giant spider's back, and they descended deep in the the Spiders' Lair.
The stone of the passageways' floors were damp and cold. Timerous couldn't help but feel rather helpless as they descended deep within the caverns. At any point in time, these spiders could overwhelm him and eat the meat right off his bones. He was at the mercy of the Giant Spider and his terrorist spider regime.
However, soon the convoy came to a stop after twenty torturing minutes. "Open!" bellowed the Giant Spider King, known as Master Spider. Upon this command, Timerous heard the sound of a large boulder scraping against the ground and felt a rush of warm air greet his face through the black burlap bag that had been placed over his face before they'd descended.
"Thank God for gas furnaces," Master Spider said, thankfully. Upon this remark, the spiders all once again resumed their scurrying, shuffling walk, with the clicking of their feet against the stone floor sending a chill down Timerous' spine, a chill that not even the most comfy blanky in the world could suppress. "Does something bother you, Timerous?" questioned Master Spider, in a rather mocking tone.
"Not at all, Master Spider," replied Timerous, trying to show what was left of his fleeting courage. Obviously, from the look of Master Spider's face, even the little courage that remained in Timerous far outweighed the courage of any human, let alone a mere mortal. Timerous, however, being blind-folded, could not see this, and tried to retain his composure.
However, when the black bag was removed from his head, he was quickly at ease. Instead of seeing the meal room of the Spider's Lair as he had feared, he gazed at a room brightly lit by several torches with bright gunmetal glimmering from the high walls, illuminating the room even more. "Blimey..." muttered Timerous, in awe, forgetting for a moment that his hosts spoke Huttese, not British. Upon this realization, Timerous corrected himself, "Bagonka!"
Timerous was more than pleased with the lavish selection. Upon the walls hung pistols, machine guns, assault rifles, and other weapons of all shapes, colors, and sizes. Timerous was in a stupor for quite some time when Master Spider awoke him. "Timerous!" he bellowed.
Shocked, Timerous replied how he was trained to in the SAS. He grabbed a silver pistol from the wall, cocked it while rolling behind cover, and aimed at Master Spider's seventh eyeball. With this, Master Spider's minions began to ready themselves for a fight. After a moment, Timerous had realized what he had done. As quickly as he had reacted, Timerous lowered the pistol and began to apologize until he was interrupted by Master Spider. "Timerous, I am honored by your threats! Here in Spiders' Lair it is considered an honor to be threatened by fierce and courageous warriors!" Master Spider made a gesture towards the walls. "Take any weapons you desire!" yelled Master Spider, with a large genial grin on his face.
Timerous was rather perplexed, but accepted this gesture openly. He smiled back at Master Spider, and began placing weapons and ammunition in a cart supplied by the spider minions. One weapon, however, a black Barretta 9mm with stainless steel plating, he placed in his waistband. You never know what these spiders might do, he thought.
"Now," said Timerous, "I will need to use a LAN line to make a few phone calls."
"What for? I have supplied you with everything you could possibly need!" replied Master Spider, indignantly.
"Umm... Yes, uh, you have, but there are a few people I must add to my operation to improve the survivability of your me.. uh I mean spiders!"
"Very well, there is a LAN line in the intelligence room upstairs. I will have my personal Minion Guard escort you. You may also acquire maps of Hogwarts in said room," added Master Spider.
"Thank you, sir!" replied Timerous, as the black burlap back was replaced over his head and they began their journeys once more through the damp, winding passageways.
After fifteen additional minutes of decent, Timerous and the spiders finally arrived at the intelligence room. Timerous glanced at the clock- it was three am in Indiana. Perfect, he thought. Timerous found the phone, picked it up, and dialed a number he had etched in his memory.
After two rings or so, a jovial yet boring voice answered. "Why, hello!" answered the voice.
"Doctor, it's so nice to hear from you!" Timerous replied, really meaning it. "I have an offer for you. It's a very dangerous operation, but also very rewarding..." Timerous' voice trailed off.
"Why, what's that?" asked the Doctor.
"We are staging an assault on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," replied Timerous, quite curtly.
A few moments of silence followed this statement. "I see..." replied the Doctor. "Nothing like this has ever been attempted before..."
"You see, Doctor, we need an expert marksman to eliminate the sentries. I will also be contacting a Special Forces team to disable the force fields."
"Hmm..." said the Doctor, calculating the risk in his head. "What's in it for me?"
"For you, Doctor, you will receive all of the potions and chemicals to your hears desire!" exclaimed Timerous.
On the other side of the line, the Doctor's face lit up with joy, his mouth agape.
"Deal!" he said quickly, not allowing time for the offer to be taken back.
"Good," Timerous replied, "A helicopter will arrive shortly to transport you to the airport. From there, you will travel on a C-130 to the Forbidden Forest, where you will parachute in. Understood?"
"Well, you could say, yes, yes understood," replied the Doctor.
"Bloody brilliant," Timerous said under his breath. Doctor Weathers was one of the best military men of all time, combining science, calculus, and military skill to make of combination of pure death. "Good, Doctor!" Timerous said. "I'll see you before sunrise, local time."
"Why, see you then!" exclaimed Weathers, still bubbly and jovial about the chemicals.
Timerous waited until Weathers hung up the phone before he dialed a second number. So far, so good, he thought.
After a few rings, a man with a crisp, deep voice answered. "Dean and Foster Insurance Agency, how may I help you?"
"Well you can start by cutting the bloody crap," replied Timerous calmly. Dean and Foster Insurance Agency was really codename for Delta Force, just in case somebody had a wrong number. Instead of hearing the name, Delta Force, they heard a name that would be easy to forget moments after hanging up the phone. It was proven by science that this name was most forgettable.
After a few moments, the man replied slowly. "Is this line secure?"
"Yes," said Timerous. "This is Timerous Adventurus the Great. I need an SF team to my location ASAP. How long will it be?"
"Just a moment please," answered the man, while cross-checking Timerous' identity. After confirming it, the man replied. "A team will be at our location within the hour."
"Excellent," said Timerous, satisfied with the results. "Timerous, out."
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A Timerous Tidbit
Today I tried to make another omelet... I failed =(.
And speaking of Timerous, I have copied the story of Timerous Adventurus the Great from my other blog and I will be posting the story on this blog soon!
And speaking of Timerous, I have copied the story of Timerous Adventurus the Great from my other blog and I will be posting the story on this blog soon!
Power Journal 4
Power Journal No. 24
War Machine
I didn't think it would be the end of the world if I made it. It was designed mainly to scare other countries; to frighten the enemy with our advanced technological capabilities. Making it wouldn't be the end of the world, I thought; the aftermath would be.
The accelerated laser, otherwise known as the, "clean nuke," by the general public, wasn't designed for the purpose of killing. While it definitely had the capacity to kill in mass numbers, neither the United States nor I built it for that reason. Like I said previously, it was built to scare the enemy.
Though it probably seemed big and advanced to second and third world countries, the design was rather straightforward and simple. All it was was a very big laser with very accurate targeting software. If we had to use it, it could end all life in a city within fifteen seconds, anywhere around the globe. As the first weapon on the moon, and the first laser weapon for that matter, it was the most intricate and dangerous weapon that the human race had ever developed.
We built the device before we had learned the truth about computers. Being humans, we always thought we were in control. And why shouldn't we have? Everything in our physical environment could be manipulated by us. We can pick up rocks and break them. We can take life and bring it into the world. This mentality contributed to our demise. We thought that we could manipulate, create, or destroy anything in the universe. One thing, though, was above our control.
With our thoughts of total power, we 'knew' in our minds that we were in control of computers; we 'knew' that nothing bad could ever amount from them. We 'knew' that the only threat posed by computers was artificial intelligence, something that we also 'knew' we had control of. Well, what we 'knew' was nothing. Little did we know that computers, like living creatures, could evolve to think like we do.
And so we learned the hard way. The laser seemed flawless, perfectly engineered without room for error. It was, and that's why almost everyone is gone now. The computer saw it's chance, and took it. And now, with the blood of billions of people on my hands, I must go too. Goodbye world… Forgive me, God.
War Machine
I didn't think it would be the end of the world if I made it. It was designed mainly to scare other countries; to frighten the enemy with our advanced technological capabilities. Making it wouldn't be the end of the world, I thought; the aftermath would be.
The accelerated laser, otherwise known as the, "clean nuke," by the general public, wasn't designed for the purpose of killing. While it definitely had the capacity to kill in mass numbers, neither the United States nor I built it for that reason. Like I said previously, it was built to scare the enemy.
Though it probably seemed big and advanced to second and third world countries, the design was rather straightforward and simple. All it was was a very big laser with very accurate targeting software. If we had to use it, it could end all life in a city within fifteen seconds, anywhere around the globe. As the first weapon on the moon, and the first laser weapon for that matter, it was the most intricate and dangerous weapon that the human race had ever developed.
We built the device before we had learned the truth about computers. Being humans, we always thought we were in control. And why shouldn't we have? Everything in our physical environment could be manipulated by us. We can pick up rocks and break them. We can take life and bring it into the world. This mentality contributed to our demise. We thought that we could manipulate, create, or destroy anything in the universe. One thing, though, was above our control.
With our thoughts of total power, we 'knew' in our minds that we were in control of computers; we 'knew' that nothing bad could ever amount from them. We 'knew' that the only threat posed by computers was artificial intelligence, something that we also 'knew' we had control of. Well, what we 'knew' was nothing. Little did we know that computers, like living creatures, could evolve to think like we do.
And so we learned the hard way. The laser seemed flawless, perfectly engineered without room for error. It was, and that's why almost everyone is gone now. The computer saw it's chance, and took it. And now, with the blood of billions of people on my hands, I must go too. Goodbye world… Forgive me, God.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder: KIA
Photo retrieved from http://dontgetmestarted-lindasharp.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/11/01/westboro_church.jpg. by Google Images.This infuriates me... so badly. Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder, killed in Iraq in 2006, received this funeral procession on arrival back home. The young man was just trying to serve his country and protect the people in this photo, and this is how they show their gratitude for him giving the ultimate sacrifice. They sicken me. How can they say such things about their own people, especially those who risk their lives for them? "Thank God for maimed soldiers. Thank God for IED's." WHAT!?!? How dare they. I would love to see them go out there and take the place of those soldiers and see how they like it. I think that might be a good attitude adjuster.
Then they say, "What we were doing was constitutionally correct. Freedom of speech." What spoke wasn't words. It was hatred. They directed hatred towards their own countrymen, their fellow Christians. That's worse than Muslims doing the same thing because at least they aren't betraying their own people. What they did was unconstitutional. Freedom of speech is a constitutional right but this attacks the credibility of the dead soldier, saying that he died for nothing, and it is a direct attack to most Americans around the world. This is treason, and I pray to my God, which obviously isn't the same as theirs, that they don't go unpunished.
Triumphs and Grievances from Timaphea
I made another omlet today; it was extremely delicious like the other one. Now that I actually have the skill and power to do this, I will probably cook one for breakfast everyday. Being able to cook feels so empowering because you can actually have what you want when you want it instead of having to settle for cereal or something stupid like that. Breakfast is like the only meal I can cook by myself and for myself, so being able to cook an omlet fits in perfectly.
Scouts last night was extremely boring and pointless, as always, but I'm excited for our campout now. We're going to Garden of the Gods in Shawnee National Forest in Illinois, and it seems like a pretty nice place, especially because the temperatures are supposed to be in the eighties this weekend. I like everything about scouts, even the skills that most people hate, but I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don't like our Scoutmaster because he is a jerk, and that's not me being immature about it; that is my educated statement. I like the other adult leaders, especially the Committee Chairman. In my opinion from my experience in scouting and of scoutmasters, he is most like a scoutmaster. He helps with the skills without getting an attitude towards the younger scouts and he makes sure things get done, without losing his temper and acting like a big baby. I feel bad for having such frustration against my scoutmaster, but its the way it is.
Scouts last night was extremely boring and pointless, as always, but I'm excited for our campout now. We're going to Garden of the Gods in Shawnee National Forest in Illinois, and it seems like a pretty nice place, especially because the temperatures are supposed to be in the eighties this weekend. I like everything about scouts, even the skills that most people hate, but I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don't like our Scoutmaster because he is a jerk, and that's not me being immature about it; that is my educated statement. I like the other adult leaders, especially the Committee Chairman. In my opinion from my experience in scouting and of scoutmasters, he is most like a scoutmaster. He helps with the skills without getting an attitude towards the younger scouts and he makes sure things get done, without losing his temper and acting like a big baby. I feel bad for having such frustration against my scoutmaster, but its the way it is.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
OMLET
I made an omlet this morning! For the first time, I successfully fried an egg! It was actually 2, but anyway... I say it's the first time because I used to DESPISE eggs! I used to hate them with a fire passion. I'm still not the biggest fan of scrambled eggs, but I really like fried eggs now. So, this morning I gave it a shot after my mom told me how to do it and I did it successfully. Then I noticed it kept flipping over and getting stuck on itself so I thought, "Why don't I make an omlet?" Immediately I grabbed out some shredded cheese, put a handful inside, flipped it, and I had an omlet =). I am very proud.
Grievances
Man, I am so ready for a drivers license and freedom. I can't wait until I turn eighteen. Not having a license is such a hindrance. I have all of my goals planned out and I know everything I want and want to do, except I can't fulfill any of those goals or do anything I need to do until I have those freedoms. It's really depressing. I want a job. Once I get a steady job, I can then have some money to pay for gas, insurance, and a gym membership. With my license and my car that I've already bought, I can then drive to the gym after school to work out instead of using the inadequate weight bench I have now without a spotter. The weight bench I have right now I got in a yard sale for about $20, and it's literally small. Some people would call a full-sized weight bench small because it doesn't have all of the features, but this is just small because of the proportions of the seats and the sizes of the weights. I had to specifically modify the bar so I could put on as many of the weights as possible, and those are only good for toning training and not mass muscle gaining training, which I'm aiming for. The set is so small that the bar is bent because of the weight I have on it, and it's really hardly any weight at all.
Anyways, with my license I could just haul that piece of crap to the dump/ metal recycling place and attend the gym instead. I could also drive wherever I want to hang out with friends instead of always relying on my parents, which is extremely unreliable because they're always doing something.
I could make a list of things I need for engineering projects I'm working on and go to the store and buy them, instead of waiting and forgetting about them.
I could also stay after school and go early to school for extra-curricular activities. I want to play sports, but I can't because I don't have a ride. If I had my license, I could pay for all of my equipment I need for that sport and I could go to the practices. I could also join various school clubs and come before school for them.
Overall, my license would grant me so many freedoms. But, I still have exactly eight months to go until I can have it and all of the freedoms that come with it. Stupid laws. I think it would've been more appropriate for the legislature to have the law saying that you have to be 15.5 years old to get a permit. Instead of it saying you have to be 16.5 years old to get a license, however, I think it would've been more appropriate and fairer if they said you must wait one year after you recieve your permit to recieve your license. Then, I could drive in January rather than wait a year and a half until June 5. I don't think it's exactly fair to make a whole group of teenagers wait 6 months longer than the entire population.
Anyways, with my license I could just haul that piece of crap to the dump/ metal recycling place and attend the gym instead. I could also drive wherever I want to hang out with friends instead of always relying on my parents, which is extremely unreliable because they're always doing something.
I could make a list of things I need for engineering projects I'm working on and go to the store and buy them, instead of waiting and forgetting about them.
I could also stay after school and go early to school for extra-curricular activities. I want to play sports, but I can't because I don't have a ride. If I had my license, I could pay for all of my equipment I need for that sport and I could go to the practices. I could also join various school clubs and come before school for them.
Overall, my license would grant me so many freedoms. But, I still have exactly eight months to go until I can have it and all of the freedoms that come with it. Stupid laws. I think it would've been more appropriate for the legislature to have the law saying that you have to be 15.5 years old to get a permit. Instead of it saying you have to be 16.5 years old to get a license, however, I think it would've been more appropriate and fairer if they said you must wait one year after you recieve your permit to recieve your license. Then, I could drive in January rather than wait a year and a half until June 5. I don't think it's exactly fair to make a whole group of teenagers wait 6 months longer than the entire population.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Perseverance
Over the course of the last few weeks, my will and perseverance have been tested. Throughout my life, I have often fallen short of completing goals, and this is probably the first time I will publicly admit that. For example, I would often have a goal to run all the way for a certain distance, without walking, and once I got tired enough I would just say, "To heck with it," and walk. This happened a lot. This also happened with projects I would work on. I would try to make it once, and if I didn't like it, I would just leave it.
However, over the past few weeks I have noticed a change in myself. I think this change stems from my workout routine that I have been doing. At the beginning of the routine, as always I wanted to just quit when I got tired. I came close, but I didn't because I really wanted to get in shape to play sports and be in the military. After I didn't quit the first time, the next few times became easier. While I am still reluctant to go outside and run these days, I do it anyways because I know I can.
This also applies to projects and jobs I do lately. If I don't like my handiwork, I just fix it instead of leaving it because I think I can't do it. If I want something exactly one way and I don't get it that way the first time, I either redo it or fix it.
Although I haven't noticed any significant weight gain in the past few weeks at all, contrary to what I expected, I have no will or urge to stop the exercise program. I like being able to push myself to do things I didn't think I could; it's a great feeling. Now that I honestly have for the first time, I fully understand the rewarding feeling one gets from it and I know no limits.
However, over the past few weeks I have noticed a change in myself. I think this change stems from my workout routine that I have been doing. At the beginning of the routine, as always I wanted to just quit when I got tired. I came close, but I didn't because I really wanted to get in shape to play sports and be in the military. After I didn't quit the first time, the next few times became easier. While I am still reluctant to go outside and run these days, I do it anyways because I know I can.
This also applies to projects and jobs I do lately. If I don't like my handiwork, I just fix it instead of leaving it because I think I can't do it. If I want something exactly one way and I don't get it that way the first time, I either redo it or fix it.
Although I haven't noticed any significant weight gain in the past few weeks at all, contrary to what I expected, I have no will or urge to stop the exercise program. I like being able to push myself to do things I didn't think I could; it's a great feeling. Now that I honestly have for the first time, I fully understand the rewarding feeling one gets from it and I know no limits.
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