Manhood

The other day over a bag of sunflower seeds my step dad asked me if I thought I was a man. I paused for about 30 seconds. Usually I have a quick answer ready for everything and anything he asks me, but I didn't. I really didn't know what to say. I didn't think I wasn't, but I didn't think I was yet either. It's very difficult to give an objective answer to such a subjective topic. So I merely said "I don't know" and that conversation stopped there.
Last night I couldn't really sleep, for God knows what reason. During the time between sleep and consciousness, I had plenty of time to think. I thought of decisions I made and how they affected me. Eventually these thoughts led to others. Eventually I asked myself "Why don't I just go do bad things if the consequences aren't that bad?" For a little bit of background information, my step dad had always told me to weigh the consequences of decisions to see if something's worth doing. Anyway, after asking myself that question, I immediately thought "because it's wrong".
And that's how everything in this post is connected. I believe that a good man doesn't weigh consequences of good and bad decisions. If people do that, they might think that the good consequences outweigh the bad ones for bad things, and then go and do the bad thing. No, a good man does quite the opposite. A man ignores the bad consequences of good things and ignores the good consequences of bad things. In other words, he does what he knows is right. I think that is one of the key components of manhood, something that can only be experienced, not taught.